Wednesday, 2 July 2014
Liverpool Must Keep Suarez
"We're all sweating in here, the air conditioning is broken" coughed a dehydrated Gary Lineker.
Alan Shearer unfurled a cotton napkin and mopped the sweat off his dripping bald bonce. "Eeh mon, I think they should ban Suarez for the World Cup like. This guy is a disgrace. Three bites.....and you're out. Get it? Bites, not strikes, but bites?".
"Very good" spat a bored Lineker.
Shearer glared at the cameras in smug satisfaction, like a simple child who had pleased its master by sweeping the leaves off the driveway into a neat pile, unaware that they'll just blow back into a mess five minutes later when the next gust of wind comes.
"Is he just insane? Does he need help? What is his issue?" whined the Bogglin-faced Chiles on the other channel, sitting resplendent in River Island's Summer 2010 gear. He pulled nervously at the rope on his military style, three-quarter length combat shorts. "Liverpool surely have to sell him now?"
"Guys, I don't see, erm, yer know, erm, I don't see, erm, like how he stays at Liverpool to be fair guys, erm" opined Ray Parlour on Talksport.
Hawksbee and Jacobs giggled in agreement.
"He should be banned from the World Cup....and....locked in jail....forever" decreed Danny Mills, in a rant which reminded us all of that Simpson's scene where Lisa, her children and her children's children are banned from the Jebediah Springfield museum.....for three months.
Diddy Hamman is the latest to write why Liverpool should sell their toothy asset. I haven't read his piece but I imagine it's roughly a thousand or so words stressing the need to preserve Liverpool's worldwide reputation, an emotionless plea to cash in quick before the next full moon rises and Luis bites again.
But....I haven't really heard a decent argument as to why Liverpool should sell Luis [maybe I should read Diddy's article]. The whole notion doesn't make sense.
So we expect Liverpool to sell arguably the best striker in the world to a top four or Champions League rival?
Why is it OK for a rival to buy Suarez but it's totally unacceptable for Liverpool to hold onto him?
Surely he either retires from football indefinitely or Liverpool should just keep him? Why should a different team profit from Suarez's ability?
It's a bit like owning a beautiful [ok, maybe not beautiful] diamond and then some bloke walks up to you and says...
"Whoah, you need to get rid of that diamond straight away."
You respond "....why?"
"Well, err, because it's a blood diamond. Loads of Africans have died to mine that rock, and hey man, like it's totally immoral for you to keep it."
"......ok, fine, i'll just chuck it in the bin"
"No! No...just give it to me, i'll have it."
".....but I thought you said it was immoral to keep it?"
" Yeah, it is...for you, but I want it."
And then Suarez signs for Barcelona, they face Liverpool in the Champions League semi final, he scores against the scousers and knocks them out, that would be a nonsense.
Well, when they're sitting in Toxteth Rileys snooker bar come next May, watching Suarez lift the European Cup in Barcelona colours on a humming tv screen in the corner of the room as some locals continually push 50p into the jukebox and play Akon's hits over and over again- at least they can say the club did the right thing.
It's not about success, it's about being moral apparently.
That reads like an Arsenal fan's end of season review.
Liverpool must build a team around Luis Suarez. Revel in their villainous status. If you're liked by neutrals, you're not winning.
Will you accept Alan Shearer taking the moral high ground when he has crumbs of Neil Lennon's cranium still encrusted on his shoes?
Will you give credence to the views of United, Arsenal and Chelsea fans who have long dined out on constant top four finishes and fear a resurgent Liverpool?
Will you listen to the likes of Paul Scholes who was as silent as a dormouse during his playing days, but is now so desperate to forge out a media career that he'll bark on command whenever Paddy Power throws him a biscuit?
Must Liverpool sell Suarez to Barcelona? Who so gruesomely pumped Messi full of hormones and chemicals. Who employ the tricheurs Alves and Busquets? Who say that they will not besmirch their shirts with sponsors as they are 'mes que un club', but now whore themselves out to parts of the Middle East where slave-like Indian manual workers fall and die in ignominy every time you blink.
You know the answer Scousies. Tell the rest to get stuffed. In football nobody remembers the sporting, they only remember the winners.
Liverpool must keep their star man and ignore the morality lessons from violent former pros; corrupt institutions and rival football clubs with an interest in seeing the Reds suffer.
Let Suarez's goals do the talking next season, bring home some trophies and silence your detractors. That has to be a better course of action than just meekly bowing out.
Liverpool can't afford to sacrifice their future in order to be martyrs of morality, and neither should they.
Martyrdom is so very final. Whereas a Lambert, Sturridge and Suarez attacking triumvirate is so full of possibilities.